I write dark stories because darkness makes a small light easier to see.
I want to talk a little about why I write. If you want the full story of why I started, you can read it on my About page. Here, I want to talk about why I write dark stories and the kinds of stories I will and will not write.
Finding stories in a dark time
I first found reading during what I pathetically called a darker time: few friends, a difficult education, the whole pity-party shebang. Then I started reading books, mostly Star Wars, from Jedi Apprentice to the Thrawn trilogy and my favorite, the Jedi Academy series by Kevin J. Anderson. From there, I moved on to Dune, The Wheel of Time, and, of course, The Lord of the Rings.
Sometimes I wonder why I was drawn to reading then. I think it was because I was in a dark time, and I read about dark times: villains who could be beaten and problems that felt real to characters who felt real to me.
Why the stories became darker
When I got older, though I still considered myself quite young, thank you very much, I decided to psychoanalyze myself a bit more by writing. I took the love of stories I developed in that dark night of the pity-party soul and began telling my own stories: dark places, dark worlds, dark situations, and characters who suffered. Really suffered.
I have done terrible things to my characters, but I think most of them are excusable because of one conviction: causing pain for readers is not simply about pain for pain’s sake. That would be evil, in my opinion. I cause pain because, in its midst, the prospect of healing becomes greater. In the darkest places, we see how bright faint lights truly are. We stare at them, transfixed by their brightness and beauty because we have known the dark.
Dark fantasy is not nihilism
I do not think I write grimdark. I write darker stories: epic and high fantasy with occasional horror themes, and characters who endure some of the worst physical and psychological scenarios I could dream of. But I do not write grim stories because I do not write nihilism. I do not write evil for the sake of portraying evil. I write evil to show what good can be.
I will not tell a story simply to be realistic, and I will not leave one without hope, whatever the cost my characters must pay to find it. They may stumble through the dark, but they will find that light lingering far down in the shadows of the dark night of the soul.
Who these stories are for
Much of this comes from my perspective as a Christian. Even if you are an atheist, I believe you can still enjoy my stories. But if you read dark stories only for realism, I recommend unsubscribing from this newsletter. My stories are not for you.
If you like dark stories that ask difficult questions, where the right choice is not always obvious, where characters pay for their mistakes and may still find hope and meaning in the dark, then my stories are for you.
Blessings,
Xavier Schwindt